My name is Shivaram Kumar and after two and a half decades of working with people from every conceivable race, religion, ethnicity, language, nationality and orientation, empowering them with self-belief and confidence, my wife Anjali and I know for sure that words make all the difference. The words we listen to, and the words we speak.
The aim with this blog is to make people aware of the power of words, because once we know how to surround and program ourselves with the right words, we can collectively increase self-esteem in society. Looking forward to get with you on our exciting journey called life and benefit from our stories and experiences.
Let my words play a small positive role in your world.
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Month: November 2016
Thanksgiving, Tourniquets and Trains
There are some who gather friends on social media like it is a contest. While we can debate about how many of those connections are meaningful, we should be grateful for the opportunity to track down old connections and friends.
Not a single Thanksgiving has passed by since 1988 without me thinking about Emma Carney. She was a colleague, friend and mother figure when I started to work at Bell Communications Research in Piscataway during the late eighties. I remember asking her questions about the festival, and she was gracious enough to invite me to her house. She even took me to her Indian neighbor’s house (the Mehrotras’) in Hillsborough. While the turkey lovers dug in, I went for the stuffing. Every Thanksgiving season, I remember the Carney family. Even with social media it took me a while to find Emma, but this month I was able to track her down…. Continue Reading →
Say Yes When They Say No
During the late 1950s, a young man in his twenties found a job as a stenographer in a small Bombay (now Mumbai) company called Fassalboi. The namesake and owner was a visionary, and was trying to introduce fluorescent (tube) lights and transistor radios to rural India. His slick salesmen returned empty handed, saying that bad electricity and fear of “black magic” from a little box not connected to anything were respective deterrents.
The stenographer offered to step up to the task. Mr. Fassalboi liked the attitude, and gave the boy some money to buy a suit, and sent him off to his village in Palakkad, Kerala. On the first day, the young man’s excitement generated a lot of interest in the tube light, but the transistor radio was still off limits. Voices from a little box spooked everyone in the village. The next morning, he was able to bring divinity into the picture when he discovered a radio station that played religious hymns…. Continue Reading →
Just Stitious
“Son, based on your history and background, you should never wear any jewelry with black onyx”, said Anjali’s uncle to me, soon after we were married.
I have been a rebel all my life, questioning beliefs that made no sense to me. But I have unwittingly paid heed to uncle’s suggestion, mostly because I didn’t know what black onyx was, and I had no particular desire to find out.
In India, religious, cultural, traditional and superstitious beliefs are intertwined, and it is often hard to tell them apart. Many people believe that Tuesday is the best day to fast, whereas others choose Friday, or any other day. From movie stars to street hawkers, people carry talismans, amulets and other objects to protect them from evil or to attract certain energies. In one blockbuster movie, the hero, a dock worker, learns from his friend that the number on his metal badge had special protective powers…. Continue Reading →
Charity – From Gong to Giving
Have you ever heard of The Gong Show? In the 70s and 80s, it was a televised contest between performers ranging from dubious to amateur. Each contestant had 3 minutes, and any one of three judges could strike a huge Gong in plain sight to interrupt a performance and disqualify the contestant.
I played a South Indian classical percussion instrument called the Mridangam. I am not sure if it was my talent, or that the judges were too intrigued by its exotic appearance and sound, but I prevailed without getting “Gonged”.
Ok, so mine wasn’t a televised show. It was organized in Piscataway, NJ, by Bellcore (now Telcordia Technologies) to raise money for the United Way organization. I was relatively new in the country and wasn’t involved in any charitable giving. As a matter of fact, I felt like I should have been on the other end of giving…. Continue Reading →
Tender Tantram
Something went wrong at a company. The CEO is outraged and he unloads on the President, who in turns takes it out on the GM. This process continues all the way down to the secretary, who yells at the receptionist. The one at the bottom of this hierarchy is the janitor, who bottles up his emotions till he gets home. Finding his son watching TV, he flares up, and gets into a tirade about how his “good for nothing son” is wasting his time in front of the idiot box. The son turns the TV off, and walks outside, frustrated. He comes across a cat, and kicks it.
The company hires a management consultant. After much research, she comes up with a proposal to improve efficiency. One of the recommendations she makes is to provide the CEO directly with a cat, saving time and sparing the people in between…. Continue Reading →
The Motivation Multiplier
One of my mentors, Bill Britt, explained motivation using a simple formula-
NEEDS X FAITH = MOTIVATION
Joe has needs – to pay the bills, to put food on the table. He also has faith (belief in something that is yet to happen) that he will reach his workplace safely each day, and that he will get a paycheck every two weeks. Without faith, he wouldn’t leave his house. With faith, he is motivated to act.
Faith can be further explained as a cross product of different kinds of faith. Joe’s needs are normal. His faith formula could be as follows-
FAITH = FAITH IN THE JOB X FAITH IN THE PROCESS X FAITH IN SELF
Mary has just founded a tech startup. Her passion has created an intense need to succeed. She has to fight against all odds, put a team together,… Continue Reading →
Green before Blue met Yellow
Yesterday my cousins and I were chatting about how conscientious our parents and grandparents and their generations have always been.
Erratic electricity, inadequate water supply, and the inability to afford cars, refrigerators and other gadgets automatically contributed to the unintended consequence of green living. But, in addition, an obsession to save up, reuse and recycle, would make current day environmentalists look inadequate. They were green before blue met yellow.
In villages, dairy was delivered without involving any cartons or emissions. The milkman would show up each morning with his cow or buffalo and do the milking right into grandmother’s milk container. No one ate beef or any kind of meat. The cows and buffaloes were treated with respect, and were not subject to the atrocities of mass production. As you probably know, there is a religious aspect to this as well.
My mother still has stuff from the time she was 16 years old (newly married)…. Continue Reading →
Fast and Steady
If you are walking on a tight-rope or threading a needle, then Slow and Steady will probably win the race. But in day to day living, we need momentum. Not break-neck speed, but momentum.
One of my mentors, Bill Britt, repeatedly told us that happiness comes from the process of accomplishment rather than the accomplishment itself. And the process can only be fulfilling if there is energy, choices and quick decisions to make. Without choices, we cannot set priorities.
In the story of The Hare and the Tortoise, the problem was not that the hare was fast. The problem was that the hare took a nap. He wasn’t steady. In life, moving slowly hoping that others will take a nap to allow us to win, is not a good strategy. Naps are helpful and sometimes critical, but they do not belong in a race…. Continue Reading →
Prayer and Priorities
I am not a religious person, but I do believe that there is a power that responds to our thoughts and actions. Some people call it “God”, others call it “Universal Energy” or “Infinite Intelligence”.
I have been exposed to many religions and rituals, but I strongly believe that God will not fail the common sense test. As such I don’t believe that some select people receive preferential access to eternal bliss, just because they belong to a certain group.
I remember growing up challenging what I perceived to be meaningless rituals and superstitions. I fought and argued with my parents, uncles and aunts. I memorized some prayers in Sanskrit, I didn’t always understand the words. My mother would translate them, and while I still remember many of them, the one that had the most impact on me was the following Shloka:
आकाशात् पतितं तोयं यथा गच्छति सागरम् ।
सर्वदेवनमस्कारं केशवं प्रतिगच्छति ॥
This translates to:
As the rain water falling from the sky go to the same ocean,… Continue Reading →
Boomerang
I believe that words and thoughts are like boomerangs that bounce off our dreams and goals in the future. What comes back to us are signs, people and pathways that… Continue Reading →
Humuhumunukunukuapua’a
Hawaiian names are often energetic alliterations, rhythmic and happy. The state fish is called Humuhumunukunukuapua’a. It is also the name of a restaurant at The Grand Wailea Hotel in Maui…. Continue Reading →