Speak your mind, look people in the eye, and drive your car

You want the competitive edge? Do what we did in the nineties. This is what I tell my kids and the hundreds of entrepreneurs that I coach and mentor.

In the nineties, we did it out of necessity. Now, you do it out of choice.

First, use the phone for calls, not as much for texting. Just call people. Don’t hide behind text messages. Text messages have their place, but more often than not, they are a cop out. More often than not, people hide behind texting to avoid confrontation, even the good kind. If you lose the habit of looking people in the eye while talking to them, you are already losing in life.

And drive your car. Get in a train or a bus. Go meet people in-person. Don’t hide behind zoom windows. What’s often more important than the meetings themselves are the moments in between: sharing a cup of coffee, laughing, enjoying water cooler banter, and truly connecting.

And don’t be afraid to speak your mind. Don’t let the speech police dictate what you say, as long as you are not taking anyone else’s rights or freedoms away. Be opinionated. I find it amusing when people chastise me with “That may be your opinion”. Well, duh, it is always my opinion unless I specify otherwise. I will have my opinion, because I am me. I won’t have your opinion, by definition, unless they happen to be the same.

And don’t get angry if someone speaks their mind. Develop a thick skin and a kind heart. Even if someone says something that you perceive as offensive, consider whether you want to turn over the remote control of your attitude to that person. That does not mean you never stand for what is right, but pick your battles. If you fight with a pig, you both get dirty and the pig loves it.

Outrage is fine, but rage is not. Martin Luther King and Mahatma Gandhi were outraged, but didn’t operate on rage.

And finally, even if somewhat unrelated, while we are @ it, please don’t address me with an “@” in the beginning of my name. I am not “@” shivaram Kumar. I am just Kumar. If you have an irrestistible urge to tag me, you should try something like “Congratulations, Kumar (@shivaramkumar)!” instead of “Congratulations, @shivaramkumar”. But if you don’t comply, I won’t be offended!